Friday, July 17, 2009
i really am falling apart...
where should i start? okay its alr 4.33am and here i am waiting for u like a fool.
i have known better
its really no use looking at my phne every 5mins for the past 5hrs.
here i am. dunnoe wad to do abt the situation and there u are forgetting tht i really need you.
i know we are nothing mayb tht is to u
but i thought u were the person who can be there for me in times needed.
just for only 3 straight days, u were there
but then u start to fade into i dunnoe wher.
ever since u cancel our dinner plans.
i loose u once & mayb this is happening once again.
urgh! i really had enough and ther are more things tht is bloody happening to me right now
okay. tht was really freaking relieve. okay nw lets forget abt him for awhile.
my relationship is seriously annoys me.
i dun want to be with him and he want to be with me.
i'm STUCK.
i'm sick of trying to explain to him and talk about it.
and now i'm STUCK once again.
argh! who care as long as i know i'm no longer with him anymore :)
wake up to reality mel! ding dong. hello?
every single thing he does right nw annoys me & irritates me alot.
i dunnoe y. havent search for a reason yet or mayb i'm beginning to hate him?
okau let just leave tht hanging as it is. one day when i find out then i tell kay.
so here it is tht i really really need help or at least someone to talk to. but there's no one.
so helooooooooo blogger =.=
i'm so pathetic
okay tdi pagi ___ called. he told me tht laptop maseh under his name.
then kn skg surat merah da dtg. wait salah. court orders have arrived.
its either dier kasi balik laptop ni or he have to spent min 2 weeks dlm lockup.
but now after quarrelling with his ouh lets just say. "irritating, bloody, assholes, fucker, pukimak, sial, sundal, chibai, buto" parents. drg masih tknk kasi passport ni!!!!!
okay i'm really sorry abt the vulgarities but ther are more actually but for right now tht is all i can think of. and if u really get to know them then u too will follow all my words.
& now he really want the laptop back.
so here i am again STUCK. dunnoe wad to do.
i am really 50/50 whether shld i return and just wait the nxt day or mayb shld i just wait till he have my passport in his hands and exchange on the spot.
okay for outsiders who is reading this and dunnoe the whole story at the beginning. keep ur comments & opinions for urself cox u cnt see the whole big picture & if u want to kepo2 wad is the story right frm the beginning, too bad cox it really take 24hr of ur life to listen to it. and only a few knows abt it.
wise decisions to make is killing me right now.
mr.f always told me tht i've always make a wrong decisions in life and i have one tht i fully regret it till now & i'm trying to learn frm it. so i have to really pay close attention and decide wisely for a decision. i'm just scare lar if i make the wrong one again.krg tk phm2 ke.
and when the time i really need to listen to someone's opinion and help. there goes everybody. so i just upload it here and krg bace lar pandai2.
seriously i'm breaking apart.
things have gone to okay then worst right now.
i feel fucking shitty.
my eyes is totally fill with tears but i just want to really hold it bck and b strong.
i am strong outside but nobody know wad the hell am i'm going thru inside.
i'm really in a mess and i need sumone now.
i literally mean it NOW.
& i got two days off. thursday and friday.
still nobody want to meet me and hear out my feelings.
am i a loner or what?! okay tht enough. its freaking 5.30 in the morning and havent
slp. i better go off now.
crosses and circles
melly.v
Signing off @ 4:32 AM
